Lovely Planet (movie 2024) full of fools

 
Just because the formula is trite and crap to begin with, one mustn't stop plying it. That must have been what Susannah Grant thought when she wrote and directed this steaming pile of cinematic poo.
I watched it, so you don't have to, and here's more on why you should avoid it:
There is a thing happening in popular media right now where the focus is shifting to women (more prominent in books, but it's everywhere), and that's all kinds of good and great, but it also means a steady infusion of romantic garbage into the mainstream, and apparently one of their favorite tropes of late is a reverse May/December romance, meaning older women with younger men
This has JUST been done with Nicole and /Zac in Family Affair & Anne and Nicholas in The Idea of You. (You can find both movies reviewed on this blog.)
The Idea of You is the best of three, but that isn't saying much.
Grant has worked steadily in TV and movies for decades, putting out a fair share of cliches and her main attraction, Erin Brockovich. She knows a thing or two about writing women for women. And apparently she thought it a good idea to take a preexisting trend and do worse. Because, let's face, people will still watch it. It has that easy appeal of known, photogenic actors and an exotic, photogenic locales.
Just to demonstrate how incredibly easy this is, here's how this particular trope works:
1. An artsy older woman in a creative industry (be it a writer or an art gallery owner) meets a MUCH younger man who isn't what you'd call an intellectual (a pop singer or an actor or a finance bro).
2. Sparks do what sparks do, and the affair tentatively begins.
3. The affair heats up, causing some friction in the older woman's life (in the previous movies it was with their kids, and in this one it's just a freakout over work).
4. The woman ends the affair.
5. The woman and the man find their way back to each other and reunite, because their connection is (despite all odds and reason) real AND because apparently older women everywhere are fantasying about young pieces of ass (presumably firm and taut.)
Ta-da! The end. Grant follows this script to a tee. It is notable that here the age difference between the leads is the most dramatic, 23 years. It looks it, and would never likely work in real life, but there it is. There's nothing much even connecting her two leads, but some physical attraction. The movie is stupid like that.
Even the trope conflict that tears them apart is stupid: just as a white woman from a first-world country starts her cliched dreaming about a quiet life in a scenic third world country, she gets her bag stolen and promptly freaks out and flees.
And you'd think she'd dream smarter, but why would she? She is, after all, banging her fantasy man.
Anyway, this crap goes on for just over 90 minutes, then ends, leaving nothing behind for the time it wasted. Not even the inherent charisma of its leads can save it.
Now somebody please come up with a less embarrassing and obvious fantasy. Please.