​     Some caring is just plain dangerous. Specifically, caring for old people as performed in a country and society where money rules above all. This is a story of care turned into business. This is a story of Marla, a woman whose ruthless ambition, flexible moral compass and unrestrainable drive to succeed, make her into something of an American hero. A classic raise yourself up by your stiletto heels story.
   Marla has been exploiting the absolutely despicable US system of guardianship, something that this reviewer has only learned about recently in an excellent and terrifying episode of Dirty Money  (one of the few genuinely good socially relevant Netflix shows of late). Basically, a person of a certain age can be relatively easily found incompetent and assigned a guardian to take care i.e. exploit the living daylights out of them. It seems positively antithetical to the concept of free country, such sudden deprivation of freedom and assets and yet it’s perfectly legal and apparently occurs regularly. For more on this, do watch that episode (and the other ones too) of Dirty Money, but back to the movie…
   This is, after all, a fictional account, though it gets the situation perfectly right and exploits it ingeniously for maximum black comedic affect. Marla is a living embodiment of the American dream and a slave to the exigencies of Mammon. You’d think she’s be completely repulsive, but Pike to her credit makes her devilishly compelling. She isn’t evil per se so much as she is an adherent to her own sort of morality. She’s getting ahead in a country and a society structured to prevent women from doing so. And she definitely has what it takes. Let’s face it, with Marla standing in for 2016 election, things might have played out differently. Nothing gets in her way, the only humanizing quality she has is her profoundly devoted relationship (depicted with genuine chemistry, no less) with her gal Friday/partner played by the stunningly gorgeous Eiza Gonzalez.
     And then one day Marla gets in over her perfectly coiffed brainpan by taking advantage of the wrong old lady, played by the always excellent Diane Wiest. Which places Marla in the way of some criminal types, lead with zeal by the so hip he’s hipsterish Dinklage prone food based temper tantrums. Oh be still my beating…
    So yes, kudos to the writer/director for taking an important, oft overlooked subject and making an entertaining movie out of it, kudos to the casting team for getting first rate talent…people that really gets their chance to shine due to the director’s frequent use of close ups and wild situations. But main kudos here are to Rosamund Pike herself, a fascinating actress that doesn’t really get her due. A proper British beauty, but interestingly, almost forbiddingly,  angular, Pike has a very specific, shall we say, glacial appeal that both worked so well in her career making Gone Girl and potentially prevented her from becoming a larger star in the grand scheme of things. She isn’t warm or cuddly (her name literally brings to mind a weapon…or a fish, but mostly a weapon), she’s commanding. Commanding women are terrifying to profoundly sexist societies. They also make for terrific characters and Marla was tailormade for Pike, who received a much deserved Golden Globe nomination for her performance. Or vice versa. Pike radiates maddening determination and fearless zeal that make her character such a powerhouse. She’s pure ambition wrapped in designer threads, she views people as commodities and herself as a juggernaut to gather all the gold coins on the way to the top. She’s a winner in every alarming way possible. And just wait to find out how it all ends.
    And there we go.  A great movie,  easily one of Netflix’s (a company that has long prioritized quantity over quality) best. Fun in a smart way, exceptionally well done and terrifically cast and acted. The title…not the best, needs work. And In don’t have an alternative in mind right now. But the rest…is pretty awesome. The most compelling moral tale of rampant immorality in ages. The kind of movie you can care about…a lot. American dream realized in all its debauched splendor.

​  It’s almost as exciting to be able to watch brand spanking new movies from the convenience of your own couch as it is terrifying to think that some people out there might think that in February of 2021 it’s a good idea to venture out for a 128 minute movie to a cinema. Either way, though, this one really isn’t worth the time or the money or the potential risk.
  This movie is essentially a dramatically lackluster version of Se7en that decided to rely on three Oscar caliber actors instead of the usual tricks such as good writing, tight pacing, etc. It also quite inexplicably decided that police unity and fraternity themes are more interesting and compelling that solving a serial killer mystery. It kids you for a while and strings you along long enough, but in the end it’s all about the police brethren solidarity and it’s all for one and one for all dynamics.
   Needless to say, the movie fails on all accounts. It doesn’t hold a candle to Se7en, it doesn’t even come near a match. Though its stars go for their best dramatic acting, they really do.
     Denzel Washington, now well into his 60s and looking all the plumper for it, is still as compelling to watch as he’s ever been, which is the main reason he’s one of the few male actors of that age who maintains his cinematic appeal and work quality. Denzel is as much of a star now as he was three decades ago, when this movie is set.
    Rami Malek is considerably less substantial (and this isn’t just a weight thing) though his peculiar features and simmering intensity make him a good fit for a cop whose tight rein on his temper slips more and more as the story progresses.  Together they have perfectly decent scenes, but nothing special occurs until Jared Leto shambles (character walk) into the frame.
    Leto is an actor who seems to enjoy disappearing into his roles, whether blowing up for Chapman, slimming down and finding him feminine side for Dallas Buyers Club or going mad with power (and make up) as a Joker. In this movie he just went for maximize the creep factor and creepy he becomes. Alarmingly so, with a labored walk, stringy mane and paunch and set of contacts among other things, Leto practically screams guilty and so the detectives latch on to him like a baby to the teat. And then things start getting (somewhat) interesting.
    Mind you, as mentioned before this is much less of a procedural and much more of a drama. Much space is dedicated to Denzel’s reception back at his old precinct which he left under a mysterious clout, so mysterious we don’t find out about it until the very end, it is, in fact, the final twist. It’s a surprisingly warm reception, considering, except by (another middle aged actor who never skipped a meal) Terry Kinney. The ladies still love Denzel, moral compromises be f*cked. Because, obviously, it’s Denzel. And because Denzel’s character has something of a moral center, there’s at the very end one final gesture, which makes it for an initially ambiguous, but then logical final statement.
   All in all, very underwhelming. Disappointing even.  It’s talent heavy and plot thin and just makes you appreciate Se7en all the more. Or want your time back.

​        I will not make the claim that Shameless is the most American show on television.  Mainly because I haven’t watched every show on television and in fact try to stay away from American television with BBC and the like. But…for my money, going strictly by my personal epistemological experience, yeah, Shameless…you take that cake.
     It’s funny, really, because it is an adaptation of a British show, one I never watched. And like most US adaptations of British shows it has gone on for way too long just now finally winding down, closing in after eleven seasons, which is many, many seasons too long.
    But it hadn’t started that way. Oh no, at first, it had charm and wit and social relevance, it was funny and engaging. The Gallaghers of all ages were enterprising and scrappy and kinda cute in that vaguely unwashed way. Sure, the viewers’ credulity is stretched from the get go by casting a strikingly white family in a show about a famous predominantly black neighborhood and the creators’ idea to make that gel was to blatantly ignore the innerworkings of genetics by making the youngest Gallagher, Liam, black, because apparently somebody slept around. But still…they were believable as a white trash ensemble, they lived in a sh*tbox, they schemed, skimmed and stole to make the bills, but through it all most of them aspired to more.
    Fiona played with surprising zeal by Emmy Rossum for entirely too many seasons held the show and the family together, standing in for both an alcoholic deadweight of a father and a bipolar never around mother. Under her care, the kids actually did ok, considering. Lip, the oldest, whip smart had a paid for ride to college. Liam trained to save lives. Carl had a strong predisposition towards army and possibly law and order.
     And then someone decided, no, that just isn’t funny enough. Why laugh at people who try to improve their circumstances, when we can laugh at people happy to sit around in their own crap. Crap always wins out. Large steaming piles of it.
    And so, Lip drank himself out of school, Liam crazied himself out of a career, Carl repeatedly self sabotaged (although was never smart enough to know that’s the word for it) and so on.
    Fiona wised up and left, guess there’s only so many years a nice Jewish girl from NY can spend playing South Side trash. She was always too good for that family and eventually became too good for the show. Macy technically got first billing, but his washed up charm has only waned, consistently the butt of the joke  first few seasons actually saw him expounding quite coherently on social injustices of the world in between the alcohol charged blackouts, but since then he just became the butt of it all.
    There’s another daughter, of course, so you can cover things like teenage pregnancies and lesbianism, but the idea that she would ever take over for Fiona is laughable on and off screen.
In fact, out of the entire cast it’s likely that only Lip and Ian might get something of a career (tv and indies), Ian has already done a very good turn as a baby Joker on Gotham.
    So why have I been watching the show all these years? Well, by now it’s mostly habitual. The quality has declined too much to even compete with its own self, all logic has gone out of the window, there’s no consistency, it’s just about making a quick joke. The quickest and the tackiest jokes win, every time.
    All the efforts to (comedically) tackle gentrification, addiction, mental disorders, etc…all traded in for cheap slapstick. This is pandering at its finest. Who wants a Frank monologue when you can watch him steal couch cushions or once again pass out in his own excretions.
And just in case the general dumbing down of the writing wasn’t enough, they’ve dumbed down each character individually, Reduced them to a dumb cliché, to the basest self. None of them will amount to much, none of them will even drag themselves out of South Side, they’ll follow the worst possible option of their trajectories, give in to every worst urge, deliver on every worst genetic trait. And they will do so shamelessly.
    And that’s what makes it the most American show there is. That pride in their own sh*ttiness and stupidity and trashiness and low class and crudeness. Their stubborn refusal to do the smart thing. It’s perfect for a country that has made smartass into an insult. Seriously, how the f*ck is that an insult? It’s a word that combines two of my favorite things, it’s awesome by definition.
    So yeah, Shameless, I’ve had it with you, I’m glad you’re ending so I no longer experience the shame for watching you. I’m sorry you devolved into this. You had potential, you had your time in the sun and then you overstayed your welcome (for years) by pandering in all the wrong ways. You’ve become the sort of trash that trashy television aimed for the general population tends to be and there’s already much too much of that around. And yes, I am ashamed to say, I’ll probably watch the last season if only to make sure you are laid to your eternal rest properly, though even good shows all too often get their final bow all wrong.
    The promo photos each season were cute, but that can only take you so far.
 Then again, what did you ever expect with a title like that? Really?

​     Well, the Golden Globe nominations are in and somehow The Undoing scored four of those, including two for both leads. Or should we even be surprised? It is, after all, a serious show, a very serious, HBOserious adaptation of a serious novel, that relies almost exclusively on the acting of its luminaries, because (frankly) the pacing is such sh*te. It is somewhat surprising to me personally that a show I found so slow and tedious and unexciting fared so well with the award committee, but then again they like this sort of thing. The only really surprising thing about it is that a show about white privilege featuring a starkly white cast did this well in this day and age.
     The Undoing (and the likes of it) won’t be the undoing of a network objectively too huge to fail, but it stands to mention how tepid and tedious and torpid their novel adaptations seem to be. I know This Much is True was another one of those slogfests relying exclusively on the powerhouse performance of Ruffalo who is now up against Grant for a Golden Globe. Even The Outsider, a properly exciting supernatural thriller from King himself was somehow inexplicably so stupendously slow and plodding as to be barely watchable.
     But, back to Undoing…a story of a wealthy privileged seemingly happy family that unravels after the man played by (still can’t do the American accent) Grant is accused of a brutal murder. The victim is a young Latina yummy mummy of the local mummy community, whose son is on a scholarship in the same prestigious school that the main couples and their friends’ kids attend through paying the exorbitant fees. The victim, playing by a gorgeous Italian actress is much too young to have a son that age, but that isn’t even a most egregious of the casting snafus in this mess, so…whatever. She’s hot and very, very comfortable with all sorts of nudity, so off the casting couch and into the show she goes.
    Grant and Kidman, the married couple, are cast almost impressively wrong. They are supposed to be married since grad school so roughly the same age and  yet Grant appears every second his 60, while Kidman has simply plastically quit aging a while back and now simply resembles a timeless stick figure. But they are obviously not of the same or close to it ages with Grant being obviously the much older spouse, This is critical, because literally the entire plot hinges upon Grant’s smarmy charm. Essentially, the idea is that he is a man so charming that he can get away with anyfreakingthing at all. The emblem  and epitome of white male privilege. Someone we simply can’t believe would be able to take a life.  
     And, of course, because we have long associated Grant with a charming floppyhaired ineffectual Englishman bumbling his way through romcoms of yore and not a tranny soliciting creep with an assortment of babymamas, we are supposed to totally buy that. But Grant has aged, he has wrinkled, he has become more himself in a way, stating as much, saying how much nicer it is to finally not have to pretend to be the good guy, his movie roles have matured and gotten darker, I’m actually really enjoying his evolution as an actor. I’m just saying he seems miscast here, Undoing required Grant of maybe a decade ago, he is simply too old and lifebeaten to be lethal stud The Undoing needs him to be.
    The other major thing the plot hinges on, in fact the thing that plot should be reliant on is how clueless Kidman’s character, Grace (a professionally trained psychologist) is to her beloved spouse’s real nature. The title of the book this mess is based on is You Should Have Known. And yeah, Grace, you freaking should have. Instead of striding around Central Park looking like a Winterfell reject (many thanks to my friend J. for putting that image in my mind) in her flowing cloak like coasts and her fiery long red curly mane, how about some introspective into your own marriage. Or an explanation why your child looking nothing and I mean nothing like either of his parents, at any angle. Who cast this sh*t? Ever heard of genetics? For fuck’s sake, make some effort, won’t you. We’re supposed to buy this as a family unit.
   And then you have an underused Edgar Ramirez as a detective and an underused Broccoli Rabe (who is finally getting a lead in a promising Prime movie) as Grace’s bestie and an excellent Donald Sutherland ripping through scenery and dialogue as Grace’s ever devoted father.  
    And then you have that torpid pacing which makes watching the water boil dynamic by comparison. And the ending that’s all too likely, because, of course, it would end this way.
All the promise of the exciting, sexually charged episode one completely obliterated by the other five episode of this oh so serious drama.
   So there you go…David E. Kelley doing what he does, putting his law degree to use, creating what the power that be tend to refer to as quality television. And the critics eating it up.
   But really this was disappointing through and through, finished mostly due to sheer stubbornness and compulsive completism. And maybe that’s something You Should Have known going in. Or maybe you’ll learn at your own (slow, slow, slow) pace.
   Also, someone please feed Nicole Kidman. It’s time. A sandwich or something caloric. The skeletal look is getting to be too much.